My Name Is Tonks
by Zaphra Ti'Gan
Summary: Why is it that Tonks hates her given name so much. This is my take on just why no one is allowed to call her Nymphadora.


Wow, inspiration just struck there for a moment. I don't know what got into me but this story just literally popped into my head! So here I am at three in the morning writing. LOL. So anyway, I guess we always knew Tonks hated her name but I never got a real sense of why, so here's my take on Tonks' story. Enjoy!  
  
My Name Is TONKS  
  
Remus Lupin sat on the sofa of Number Twelve Grimmauld place, a cup of hot coco in one hand, and Tonks leaning on his chest, his arm securely wrapped around her shoulder. They had gotten a quiet evening at home together, or at least as "homey" as the black family house got. It had been a rather uneventful night; save for the little burn Tonks had received when she attempted to make the coco. Remus was slowly running his hands through her now shoulder length periwinkle hair, untangling little knots as he found them, which were few and far between.  
  
"You know, I really should get my hair cut." Tonks said, somewhat randomly, which, as anyone who knew her knew, was completely normal for her. However for Remus it was a little more baffling then usual.  
  
"Why on earth would you need a hair cut, Nymphadora? You can make it any length you want to." Remus asked trying to understand this left fielded question.  
  
"Well, first off..." Tonks scrunched up her face and reverted back to her 'normal' self, her hair cascading down past her waist. "It does tend to get somewhat heavy after awhile. And secondly...Don't call me THAT name!"  
  
"And why not, it's a perfectly nice name." Remus stated. "And besides," he continued, allowing a little of his marauder to get the better of him, "If you don't tell me, I will continue to call you THAT name."  
  
Tonks knew he was only joking, he was too nice to do that for very long, and at the risk of her doing something completely nasty that was too his disliking. But, she conceded, she may as well let someone know the real reason for her hating her name so utterly and completely. So, settling deeper into his chest, she proceeded to tell her lover exactly why she hated her name. But before telling him she changed her hair once again, to go to a soft strawberry blond, a little easier on the eyes at this time of night for Remus, and definitely more comfortable for her.  
  
"You remember when you used to come for visits with Sirius when I was little, don't you, Remus?" She asked, not quiet sure of how or where to begin.  
  
"Yes, though how you can is quite beyond me. You were only a few years old at the time."  
  
"I was five, maybe six. But I didn't mind my name did I?" She asked.  
  
No, as a matter of fact it didn't bother you at all." Remus answered, still at a loss as to where this was going.  
  
You know I didn't used to mind my appearance much either. Not until my first year at Hogwarts, really. You see, before that, I was still considered a part of the family, at least in some respects. My aunts, and trust me, I use the term loosely; still kept in some kind of contact with mom and me, they just didn't bother with my dad. Which was fine with him."  
  
Remus nodded in agreement, he could definitely understand why that was fine with her dad.  
  
"Anyway, they always figured I'd be the 'saviour' of the Black family. I'd be sorted into Slytherin and become just as nasty and heartless and conniving as they were. By the time I was eight, they were sure they saw Slytherin in me. So, just before I got to Hogwarts they made me a promise, and the scary thing is, I actually think, right up until today, that they would have kept it. If I got into Slytherin, my name was to be placed on the Black family tree."  
  
Tonks laughed bitterly at this. The thought of having her name on that Thing was now repulsive to her.  
  
"So, being only 10 or 11, I really only knew that if I got into Slytherin I'd be a part of the family. That promise died the instant the sorting hat called out GRYFFINDOR. I was so embarrassed; I actually asked the hat if he was absolutely certain I wasn't supposed to be in Slytherin. He announced to the entire hall that I WANTED to be in Slytherin House. Won me no points that night I'll have you know!"  
  
Remus cringed slightly, knowing just how horrible the first few weeks would have been for Tonks, with all of her house knowing she wanted to be in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor. It was almost completely unheard of.  
  
So, the first night back at my house with my mom and dad, my two aunts and uncle Lucius come to call. They're pleasant enough while I'm around, sending sneers my way when mom and dad aren't looking, or asking, in what I can only describe as mocking voices, what it's like in the Gryffindor house seeing as none of them were in it, not even mom was. And dad, well, you know he's a muggle so he was definitely not in the Gryffindor common room."  
  
Tonks' stopped for just a minute to take a sip of Remus' cooling coco and with a quick wave of her wand, did a heating spell, to warm it up again.  
  
"So, where was I? Right, I remember now. That night, after I was supposed to be asleep, I went down stairs and hid, just at the landing where no one would see me. And mom was in the kitchen making the tea while aunt Narcissa, aunt Bellatrix and (with shivers rolling up her spine) uncle Lucius were talking softly in the other room. I heard my name mentioned so I listened, wondering what they were saying. I don't think I'll ever forget those words, no matter how hard I try. Just the way they said my name with such contempt was enough to send me into tears.  
  
"Nymphadora, honestly, she will never live up to that name. How she even got into Gryffindor is beyond my comprehension, she'd be lucky to get into Hufflepuff, with those thick feet of her's. How Andromeda ever raised such a clumsy daughter, I will never understand. I figured there'd be SOME hope for her if she managed to get into Slytherin. But it is quite clear that she is and always has been a Tonks through and through."  
  
As she finished her story there were only a few shed tears on her near porcelain face. Bitter tears of having remembered just how hateful they were to her after that. Silently Remus wiped them away with the rough pad of his thumb but didn't dare interrupt her.  
  
"And so that is my name, Tonks, it's mine and has nothing to do with anything from the Black family. And I rarely go to my natural state, cause my aunt Bellatrix and I look almost completely alike. I find it rather disturbing if you'd like to know the honest truth."  
  
Remus stared at her for a few moments; trying to take everything she had just told him in. It was a lot of information to process all at once. He had always known of Sirius's hate for his family, it was a well-known fact that he despised them above all else. However, Tonks had rarely complained about her association to her relatives. Oh he knew it was there but she had always left it inside, out of reach. How long she had kept this inside of her, it was a deep wound that had never been aired properly. And yet she was still so strong. There was no doubt in his mind that she possessed a true Gryffindor heart.  
  
Looking down at her, Remus pressed his lips lightly again the top of her head. "Do you know that I love you?"  
  
"Yes." Tonks replied softly, almost asleep by that point.  
  
"Good. Because I do love you very much, whatever your hair colour, eye colour or you're name. But to me you will always be my little Nymph, because my dear, whether you like it or not, that name suits you perfectly." And with that he raised her head just enough to capture her lips in a tender and loving kiss. He let go after a few moments and Tonks lay down and rested her head in his lap, too tried to move much more then that. Just before she drifted off to sleep she heard him whisper into her ear.  
  
"I love you, Nymphadora."  
  
Tonks sighed; he really was a stubborn man. But, when it came right down to it, she didn't mind quite as much when he called her that, so long as no one else did. Because, like it or not, her name was Tonks.  
  
Well, what do you think? Please leave me a review, I'd love to hear from you! 


End file.
